Its now a year since I moved to one of the most beautiful cities I've seen. Thinking back , I've had a rather good time, learnt many things: Patience and Tolerance, being the most important of it all. There is no point getting impatient or frustrated with life's circumstances. Things will happen when they have to and in the manner they should. So its better to ride along in an optimistic manner. Perhaps that's the only way to enjoy it and make things easier for yourself and others around you. In short, it is better to accept things as they come.
I normally like to plan out most things I do, at least to the near future. I like to look at where I'm heading, else I literally feel as though I've been blindfolded and I'm walking aimlessly in some random direction. Though not meticulously, I just need to have an idea, so that I can pace myself accordingly. Expecting the unexpected, there are bound to be many blind turns. But this just adds up a little spice, makes the present adventurous. Many a times, there are frustrations that things aren't working out as I thought - fast enough or perhaps to my liking.
Uncertainties, especially, tend to bother me a little too much. Its such seems a dead end in every direction I look. Never mind that I usually wasn't ready for all of this, but , did I ever really know what I wanted, or did I just end up pushing myself to a helpless situation, regardless of how much time I spent fretting. It is indeed a challenge to balance out the zillion details of life, trying to make everyone happy and yet remain a cool- head. Adding to all this, I usually go ahead and live in a future fantasy, thinking everything will be hunky dory after this, until reality strikes and strikes me hard enough to look at things practically. The illusion of keeping situations in control and the reality of it being stripped away completely is annoying. There are times when I'm so optimistic about the future and there are also times when I'm equally pessimistic.
But as someone rightly said, whatever happens is for the good. Each situation (good or bad) has some story hidden behind. In the last one year, I can confidently say that I've had the space to retrospect and examine my reactions to many things and that has definitely had a positive impact on situations that I'm experiencing at present. It's amazing to see how many things used to cause a panic or just simply annoy me at every stage and are now no longer a big deal. Thinking about 'what's next' in a calm manner? Needed. Not sure where I'll be working? Fine. I can figure this out. Worse case scenario, I can start something on my own. Not sure where I'll settle down? Fine again. I do have all the emotional backup stored within me to handle it, so why should I waste my time worrying about the fact that things aren't happening to 'my' specified ways. Living away from home has possibly enabled me to accept such uncalled situations. It's also helped me live with people who are different from us, in terms of lifestyles, interests, temperaments etc. I hate having enemies (and I wish to think that I don't have any) and I hate people who back stab. Forgiving is probably a means to developing tolerance towards them. Its better to forgive and remain cordial rather than carry the burden along. After all these years, it does feel much lighter, letting go of so many things that bothered me at every stage.
This is where I think have managed to separate the egoistic 'I' from the self. Also, from a constant thought of 'my plans', 'my life' etc., its all about blending in with friends and family. So what if all the plans went haywire? In all possibilities, there could be a better plan in store for me, that I'm not even aware of. Sometimes, what we desire and what we need are two distinct bits and life does give you what you need not what you desire. As an architect , I do realise that whenever we design a structure, the first set of plans do not necessarily get constructed. There are a series of constant modifications that are needed to enhance the design. Sometimes minor changes do the job, sometimes, we need to change them completely- drastically different from the first set. Life is the same. I should be flexible and open to all possible changes instead of fighting it the whole way. Its good to hope for a happy future, but when I look back a few years down the lane, I want to look back at worthwhile and cheerful times. As the Dalai Lama says, " Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. The main purpose of our life is to seek happiness. Whether one believes in religion or not, we are all seeking something better in life. So I think the very motion of our life is towards happiness." . If I can keep getting better at this, I'm pretty sure I'll be much more relaxed than I previously was. I can't wait to see what could happen next... :)
But as someone rightly said, whatever happens is for the good. Each situation (good or bad) has some story hidden behind. In the last one year, I can confidently say that I've had the space to retrospect and examine my reactions to many things and that has definitely had a positive impact on situations that I'm experiencing at present. It's amazing to see how many things used to cause a panic or just simply annoy me at every stage and are now no longer a big deal. Thinking about 'what's next' in a calm manner? Needed. Not sure where I'll be working? Fine. I can figure this out. Worse case scenario, I can start something on my own. Not sure where I'll settle down? Fine again. I do have all the emotional backup stored within me to handle it, so why should I waste my time worrying about the fact that things aren't happening to 'my' specified ways. Living away from home has possibly enabled me to accept such uncalled situations. It's also helped me live with people who are different from us, in terms of lifestyles, interests, temperaments etc. I hate having enemies (and I wish to think that I don't have any) and I hate people who back stab. Forgiving is probably a means to developing tolerance towards them. Its better to forgive and remain cordial rather than carry the burden along. After all these years, it does feel much lighter, letting go of so many things that bothered me at every stage.
This is where I think have managed to separate the egoistic 'I' from the self. Also, from a constant thought of 'my plans', 'my life' etc., its all about blending in with friends and family. So what if all the plans went haywire? In all possibilities, there could be a better plan in store for me, that I'm not even aware of. Sometimes, what we desire and what we need are two distinct bits and life does give you what you need not what you desire. As an architect , I do realise that whenever we design a structure, the first set of plans do not necessarily get constructed. There are a series of constant modifications that are needed to enhance the design. Sometimes minor changes do the job, sometimes, we need to change them completely- drastically different from the first set. Life is the same. I should be flexible and open to all possible changes instead of fighting it the whole way. Its good to hope for a happy future, but when I look back a few years down the lane, I want to look back at worthwhile and cheerful times. As the Dalai Lama says, " Not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. The main purpose of our life is to seek happiness. Whether one believes in religion or not, we are all seeking something better in life. So I think the very motion of our life is towards happiness." . If I can keep getting better at this, I'm pretty sure I'll be much more relaxed than I previously was. I can't wait to see what could happen next... :)
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